Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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