I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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