I just cut my nipple shaving
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
