You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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