so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
