he puts the penis in happiness.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
