Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
