U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
