My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
