You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
