yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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