just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
