You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
