Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
pop tarts are not kleenex
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
