Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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