He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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