I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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