I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
