I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
