By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
