Me. At least after what I've been through.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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