Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
