I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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