you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
