My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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