Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You dont lie about slip and slides
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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