i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize