Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I am morally bankrupt
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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