what day is it and did you see me today?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
