god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
