Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
