My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
