My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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