but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
