I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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