Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
