Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize