Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
