I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize