Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
