I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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