Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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