idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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