me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize