I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
