Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
