11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize