At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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