My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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