Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
high people should be assigned attendants
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
