So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
