Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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