did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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