Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
