I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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