She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize