So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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